Archive for February, 2013


Channeling ESP-N

espI always wished that I had a supernatural awareness, the power to see without seeing, hear without hearing, or feel without feeling. ESP. I didn’t want this gift to exploit others in a Psychic Network type manner; rather, I just wanted that enlightenment that would guide me towards peace, channel my inner chi, and, if I got lucky, provide insight into the male psyche.

Well, needless to say, my extrasensory perception never materialized, as I find myself having to woooo-saaaaaah on a regular basis to keep my sanity intact. However, I did find that the key to the male mind didn’t lie in ESP, rather it existed in channeling ESP-N.

With ESP-N, I could dodge scattered toys like an offensive player breaking through defensive lines on the football field.

With ESP-N, the dexterity of my hands in preparing dinner would solicit the oohs and aahs worthy of a basketball all-star performance.

With ESP-N, I could tee my husband off of the LazyBoy like a tiger at the masters.

With ESP-N, my recap of the day’s events would prompt him to push rewind again and again, reveling in how I stretched a nickel into fifteen cents.

With ESP-N, we could laughingly remember how we used to play back when he was an athlete.

If only I had the gift of ESP-N, I could see how to play this game called love.


Unemployment Blues


I’ve heard stories of people who die once they retire. When I’d hear these stories, I would simply shake my head at the mystery behind this while regaling about how I’d travel the world footloose and fancy-free once I was no longer working. But, now, I think I have a better perspective on how a new retiree might feel. Of course, I’m nowhere near retirement age; last I checked, not many folks retire at age 25 (hush, I’ve stopped counting), but I am now one week into being unemployed and quite frankly I feel a little lost.

For a woman who once claimed to never have a dull moment, I seem to now have eight hours a day of just that. Of course, everyone around me is encouraging me to “take advantage” of the time I have off. Get a massage. Write. Do a little traveling. Even I am cheering myself along to do all of the things that I’ve complained I never had time to do. But, who am I fooling?

While I’m thrilled to spend extra time with my family, I want to work.

And, yes, I’ll admit that I’m happy (damn near ecstatic) to no longer be with my last firm, but I want to work.

I’m even more excited that I have free time to write, yet I’ve struggled with putting pen to paper and finger to keyboard this week. As a matter of fact, I had to force myself to sit down to write this. I simply want to work.

Maybe my husband is right. Perhaps I will look back upon this time when I’m working again and wish that I’d gotten that massage, wrote a little more, or took that much needed trip, but how can I do any of that if my mind is so consumed with work?