Archive for September, 2012


Love Tug of War

Relationships can be so darn complicated sometimes…who am I kidding, most times. Things can be going so smoothly, then bam! all of a sudden you’re flailing your arms and trying to untangle yourself from the cobwebs of life that you unsuspectingly walked into.

Just yesterday, a friend of mine was sharing her woes about a tangled romantic web that she’s caught in. For years, she’d be in a quiet, unassuming, unspoken, committed relationship with a man. Sounds complicated already, right? You see, although they live in separate homes and live separate lives, they share responsibilities and a very intimate bond. Not intimate in the romantic sense, but a connection that will never be torn. They have a child.

Sure, she loves him but not in the I-can’t-sleep-I-can’t-eat kind of way. More like in the way that happens to people who put love on auto-pilot. She’d put thoughts of love up on a shelf because she was too busy raising her daughter, building her business, and being a “friend.” She didn’t need romance; she had reliable. And, she was content with that…or, at least that was what she said.  

Until she walked smack dab into love.

All of a sudden she was glowing. Entering from stage left is the new guy – Prince Charming. He was attentive, caring, protective, and romantic. He looked, smelled, and acted like looooooove.

(Umph, umph, umph. Don’t you remember the feeling?)

He stirred things up in her that she didn’t realize she was missing, and all of a sudden that old Saltines cracker didn’t taste so good anymore. She wanted the Ritz.

Problem is that even the Ritz is just a cracker. Although Prince Charming had all of the qualities that appealed to her as a woman, he also brought a few unsavory elements to the equation. Jealousy. Control. Insecurity. That’s when a woman wants to just fall to her knees and say “Dayum, dayum, dayum!!! Where was this part in the Happily Ever After tales that momma used to read?!”

So now she finds herself in a love tug of war, mentally trying to weigh the pros and cons of each relationship. Should she stick with the ol’ reliable man who perhaps isn’t the most romantic but who she shares history and a child with? Or, should she go out on a limb and follow Prince Charming who might just be a Saltines in disguise?


Six-Figure Broke

Notorious B.I.G. was on point when he lyricized mo’ money, mo’ problems back in 1997. Of course, his chump change was probably a year’s salary for most, but I understand what he was getting at. It seems like the more money I make, the more money I owe. The more hands come out. The more mouths to feed. The more Uncle Sam becomes an incestuous relative who is all up in my…well, you get the picture.

I just don’t know how to emancipate myself from this cycle of paycheck to paycheck, and I am dog tired of being six-figure broke.

(And, yes, I quoted Biggie. Baby, baby!)


Killin’ My Sexy

I’ve often wondered why it seems that the lovemaking dwindles after marriage. Part of me thinks that it’s because all of the effort that a man puts in during the early stages of the chase seems to evaporate into thin air after the “I do.” The flowers…gone. The back rubs…non-existent. I mean, can a sista even get a Happy Meal around here?!

I’m sure many men would argue that it’s the woman who stops doing that special thing that she does. (To them I lovingly say, get your own blog! A woman is talking here.)

Then I thought perhaps it’s the seriousness of working, maintaining a household, pouring over kids’ homework, or paying bills that put a damper on the mood. I’ll admit that most days I’m beat down tired by the time the sun sets in my neck of the woods. But, I finally figured out what the problem is.

Having a toddler bust in on a random freak moment while loudly announcing “Hi, guys! It’s me!” is definitely killin’ my sexy.


Mental Constipation

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post. Seems like I was suffering from a bit of mental constipation – writer’s block. It’s not something that happens often, but I think that a combination of stress and lack of rest have backed up my flow. Nevertheless, I feel movement!

Now that I’ve painted this disturbing visual, let me get back to my job of stanking up your thoughts with the going-ons in my head.

Aaaah…what a relief.